At the end of every month, we’ll come together to count the grace He has breathed into our lives through the lens of this month’s blessing. Join me tonight as I recount the grace of a love that shows up, a love we all need in a week where our hearts are all a little broken.
Something in the words, “You don’t have to come…” said “I need you to…”
Maybe it was in her voice. Maybe it was the number of times she said it. Maybe it was just a mama’s intuition.
But whatever the maybe, her words found me barely recovered from COVID, hair wild, and perhaps only slightly clean, driving in our minivan through western Kansas to the State Speech Championship.
Much like most of my spur-of-the-moment mama moves, I had not thought much through---but nowhere was this most glaring than me forgetting once past Topeka, a girl could have a really hard time finding gas, especially when her gas light turns on only a hot minute from the last exit to the same said town.
There I was, sweating profusely sans AC to save what gas I did have and praying a ridiculous prayer, “Jesus, please just get me some gas.” I plead these words over and over again, while at some point wondering if I needed to specify which kind of gas after a solid 40 minutes of nothing on the horizon.
So I upped the ante, “Jesus, please don’t let this be a disaster. Please let this be uncharacteristically like me and let me just be a normal mom who shows up for her kid, instead of a hot mess that ends up stranded amongst miles and miles of prairieland.”
It was then, out of a great expanse of nothingness, the right kind of gas appeared. And just like that, my ridiculous prayer was answered and I showed up in time to see my girl make it to finals.
It wasn’t until we were rolling home, gas tank and heart full, I smiled at the sight of my 16-year-old baby sleeping in the seat next to mine. It left me to find something I had lost in my ridiculous quest, something I am understanding in these strange times parenting teens.
Loving almost-grown ups is messy. It can gut us and wrench our hearts a million and one ways. It can test us and stretch us and show us what unconditional love really costs. But at the end of the day, it’s the showing up that matters, not how pretty it looks getting there.
And for the moments where we feel lost and alone and a half a million miles from nowhere, He will be there in the madness, holding us close, wiping our tears, and showing up with His love.
Mile-by-mile. Step-by-step. Breath-by-ridiculous-breath.
Friends, how has He showed up for you today?
Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:24