At the end of every month, we’ll come together to count the grace He has breathed into our lives through the lens of this month’s blessing. Join me as I reflect on the grace of one who keeps showing up in the messiness of my life with the courage to say the things my heart needs to hear.
“You have to be prepared for him to die.”
Hearing her words rush over my gutted heart made me want to sob and dry heave all at once.
But my soul knew she was right.
I knew my husband’s COVID prognosis was not good. I knew he could be intubated at any point. I knew the doctor’s admonition to go over legal documents and my husband’s wishes meant exactly what the voice over the phone was telling me to do now.
At first, I offered denial, and then irritation, and then some weird sort of snort sobbing as if I couldn’t decide whether the moment was tragic or hysterical. And yet, she persisted, “Sara, you have to do this.”
A part of my story for nearly 30 years, she was my college bestie, my partner-in-crime, my sounding board when my world fell down. She had loved me well in everything, and even when she spoke words I didn’t want to hear, I listened.
So, I pulled the notebook down off the shelf. The one that had sat and gathered dust for 15 years. I opened it up, dialed the hospital and held my breath until he picked up the phone and we prepared for him to die.
Even now, the memory of this day cuts me to my core.
Our story ended in mercy, in my husband coming home, in the notebook being shelved again.
But I know all too many who made preparations one day and funeral plans the next. How I ache for them in a thousand ways.
And yet, I find the grace of a friend who was willing to say the hard thing, to walk me through the broken and tearstained, to help me face what I thought I couldn’t and to make sure I knew I was never alone.
May we all have a love so brave.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Now it’s your turn: How has God used others to speak severe mercy into your own life?